29 June 2006
Curiosity Let The Cat... Into My Cupboard!
This is just another one of my infinite battle to clean up my room -_________- It's going to take forever I tell u...A lady around the age of 40+? suddenly came over and sat beside me when the train stopped at tanah merah mrt station. She alr had her own seat at the opposite stretch (corner somemore) before she planted herself one seat away from me, sitting sideways (facing me of coz) and said...
L: ... here's better, nice scenery too...
031: (She's just mumbling to herself... just pretend I never hear anything and continue to stone.)
L: Simei then Tampines... vv fast just two more stops.
031: (Oookayyy. I think she's talking to me...) Turn face to her, nod and give her polite smile.
L: (Sensing that she got my attention, she carries on) ... There too squeezy; somemore here got things to see haha...
031: Haha ya. (and I tried to go back stoning.)
L: Your hp vv nice. Real ones?
031: (failed stoning attempt) Err nope, fake ones, they're just stickers. (cursing myself why I wanna hold my hp instead of keeping it in my bag =_=)
L: Isit?? They look so shiny... -blah blah blah- (lots of random stuff abt me liking diamonds and diamonds are the hardest stone on earth... etc)
031: -blah blah blah- (tries my best to answer and hahahaha with her)
New topic after she said all she can think of abt MY hp XD
L: I dont have a hp.
031: (uhuh? so?)
L: I dont see a need to have one... been to shops previously but never really got down to buy one. Nobody to call or call me... plus I wont noe how to operate it. -blah blah blah- (more sad and lonely stuff regarding hp)
Okay, at this point I felt quite sad for her.
L: So, u r going home from work, sch?
031: Eh, sch.
L: OH! (yes, she really "oh" vv loud... I dont look like a student meh? Do I really look so old? O_Q) What r you studying?
031: Jap.
L: Are you a Malay?
031: (WTH. Suddenly change topic so fast... what has jap got to do with my race?) NO. I'm a Chinese. Pure Chinese.
L: Isit?! You dont look like chinese... -blah blah blah-
031: -blah blah blah- (trying to convince her im a Chinese duh. When the topic goes on to my parentage/ancestry.)
L: Maybe long long ago someone in your family is...
031: (I didnt let her complete her speculation) No la. My grandparents from China Hainan dao, parents born and bred here. PURE CHINESE. (read my lips. p u r e c h i n e s e)
L: ... u really dont look like chinese. The way you speak also... (TMD, my GP got E8 before can?? Big deal. I admit my english sucks but now u're telling me my spoken english is weird? HUH) Plus you look tanned.
031: (Something inside my brain snapped. #@!%$%#&&*~!@#@%#%&#^%* I've been avoiding SUN for the past dunno how many mths... no swimming no nothing and u tell me I look tanned?!) Haha. Isit. No la. I'm really a Chinese...
FINALLY we arrived at Tampines which is her stop.
L: You getting off here?
031: Nope, pasir ris.
L: Oh... my brother is in pasir ris... (getting off the train as she said this) bye, nice talking to you.
031: Yup, byebye.
I feel like singing the "lonely" song. You noe, the "lonely~~~ I'm so lonely~~~ I have nobody~ of my own~~~ wooooooooooooooo~"
Loneliness is such a dangerous drug. I like to be alone sometimes (ok la, most of the times?) and it can be addictive. So much so one will forget how to communicate/handle other human beings. Even your family, friends, your close ones... and the idea of "they dont understand me" starts to set in.
It's not they not understand you. It's you whom they dont understand? Anyway, if you keep withdrawing yourself and keeping you to yourself only, who noes one day u'll end up like this lady too?
Coz people around you will gradually forget abt u, since u chose lead a hermit life. When all is lost, u realise that the LONELY feeling is getting too much to bear and you cant accompany yourself anymore... DEN U"LL START TALKING TO STRANGERS ON THE MRT.
Lonely. Weird. Sad.
Anyway, there's this other song "although loneliness has always been a friend of mine~ I cant get u out of my head~ wu wu wu~" by backstreet boys I think. Haha... ultra old song XD Can be friends with loneliness, BUT normal friends only huh... cannot become best friends or close friend. ^^